How my dogs are helping rid the world of the Bird Flu, or why I am having KFC for dinner tonite

I hate chickens!

Looks innocent doesn't he? I thought so too.

Yesterday was a bad day. I was packing when I hear a commotion outside. I look out the window and all of my dogs are looking over to the neighbor's house. I open the window and I hear chickens screaming and dogs barking.

" OH GOD NO!!" On goes any boots and clothes I can find and out the door I go running.

So let me give you a little history; a few months ago I get a phone call from Dylan at work saying that the neighbor is at the house saying my dog has killed all of is chickens. I ask him to go outside and see if he can catch any of my dogs that are loose. And he says there are no loose dogs. So I race home. All of my dogs are still on their chains, all in place. So I go next door. The wife is home and their "Chicken Handler."

"Your dog killed all 40 of our chickens."

"Did you hook the dog back up?"

"No he went back over to your house."

"But none of my dogs are loose."

"I know it was your dog."

"I must have been somebody else's dog because none of my dogs got loose."

"Are there other huskies in the area."

This woman must never come out of her house EVER. Listen lady you live in Two Rivers, Alaska, the distance mushing capital of the world. The population of huskies exceeds the population of people.

"Well, yes."

There chicken handler then gives me a tour of all of their dead chickens. For what reason I don't know. How gross! Their coop is a patch work shack of garbage. This is by far the third world set up of chicken empires. Not only do they have chickens (or had I guess I should say) but they have pigs, geese, 4 or 5 german sheperd, a few cats, a see hamster cages laying around, and a couple kids. The whole set up is nasty and smelly. I leave and the next day the husband comes over.

"Your dog killed my chickens!"

"I already told your wife that it wasn't my dog."

"Well next time I see your dog over here I am going to shoot it!"

Okay, I thought that was the plan anyways.

So yesterday I KNOW it is my dog. I go running over, his last words going over and over again in my head. Its Saturn. Innocent, sweet Saturn! He's outside the coop smiling ear to ear, and inbetween his teeth there are a few feathers sticking out. He is looking at me panting saying "This is fun, Abbie!"

"Crap!" I grab Saturn. "Come on buddy lets go or we are going to be dodging bullets!" We go tearing off through the garbage. I took the back trail so he would see our footprints in the snow leading right to our house.

I bring Staurn in the house. What to do, what to do?

1. I could pretend like it never happened. Prove it buddy. But this guy is crazy. He might just come through the back, and start shooting my dogs. I wonder how many chickens Saturn actually killed?
2. I could say there was a dog loose in my yard too and I chased him off, he must have went over to your house.
3. or I could just fess up. Dammit we only have 2 weeks left here and this happens.

New Abbie rule #3:I WILL NEVER LIVE NEXT DOOR TO CHICKENS AGAIN!

I have had problems before.

When I lived in Homer, the day before my wedding, I took a walk to my landlord's to borrow his lawn mower. I took my dogs (2 huskies) with me. My next door neighbor had chickens, which had been killed many times before (not by my dogs). I knew this but as long as a watched my dogs they would just play with his lab that ran loose and I could call them away without them even realizing that there was any chickens. Well as we went by there was no dog. I would later find out he had killed his own dog because he had killed his chickens. Not only that but his chickens were free ranging. Now if I had my chickens killed 15 times I would have one serious fence around them! Any ways there was a mailay of chicken and huskies I was running around throwing chickens in the air . Trying to catch my dogs. My Dad, up from the lower 48 for my wedding is watching the whole thing. It was too late. All of them dead. So I go up to their door. There 4 year old son answers.

"Um, my dogs killed all of your chickens."

"My dad is NOT going to be happy."

"Tell him I will do anything to make it right. I will by him chicks, fresh, local eggs until they can lay. Anything."

I had to go into town afterwards to do some more wedding arrangements. I though, "You know, I better bring the dogs with me."

And good thing I did because my brother and his girlfriend stayed behind and this guy came up throught the back rifle in hand and was going to shoot my dogs right on the line.

Meanwhile I was at the feed store.

"I need to buy some chickens, now!"

" What kind?"

"I don't know, I know nothing about chickens."

I expained to her what happen.

" Whose chickens?"

When I told her who she said, "Not again!"

So I call his house from the feed store. He is pissed, "I'm going to shoot your dogs!"

I had to have the feed store lady convince him, she's here, trying to make it right.

So I ended him chicks and an incubator.

Now he had a fishing boat with a guy who owned Caribou Lake Lodge, a lodge we used to mush out to until he had a fight with one of us ( a long story, it probably really was this musher's fault being that she is psycho) and he said "No more dog teams." Which was a bummer because it was the greatest place to mush your dogs to and have lunch. Well that summer their boat burned and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. It was all I could do to call up in my best mafia voice and say, "Next time you mess with my dogs, it will be more than your boat that goes." But I resisted.

Sled dogs and chickens don't mix! I check the hardware on my chains, and am responsible. But you know what, "shit happens."

Back to yesterday...

So I think WWMMD? ( what would my mom do) We drive over to the neighbors house. She is home. Knock knock.

"Hello, well the bad news is that my dog has killed some of your chickens, the good news is that we are moving in 2 weeks."

"Oh, my husband is going to be mad.!"

I left my number and an apology. He hasn't called yet. Which makes me nervous. Lets just say I didn't get much sleep last night. Every little stir woke me up. Who knows what this guy will do?

Two weeks.....only two weeks....

At least my dogs are doing their part to eliminate the Avion Flu